So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
