Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
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He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
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It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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