Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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