STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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