So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
