i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize