the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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