yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize