That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Still dying that you shit outside
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
