That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
