My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
