I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
