WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
