The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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