I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize