They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
