Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
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she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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