how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
