some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
