And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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