I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
