i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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