we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
