we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize