would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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