watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
