just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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