i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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