Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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