Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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