Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
