I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
