Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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