Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
