Umm I'm too high to move.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
