Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
worst night to have a conscience
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
