You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
