It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
