why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
