Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.