he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
