note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
