seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Your penis caused this!
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