Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
