Grow some girl-balls and come out already
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
