I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
i am craving dick and cupcakes
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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