apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
