Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
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My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
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I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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