best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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