I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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