some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
