Nicole vs. Life
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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