His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Vodka?
Forever.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
