Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
