Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
thus making me awesome and them whores
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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