Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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